I am in love in the idea of falling in love. I’d been curious how love will change my ordinary life into unexplainable one. I’m looking forward to fall in love and be loved back. But how could I exactly figure out what it means to “fall in love” when I don’t even know what love is?
I’ve spent most of the time entirely alone. It had not been like that. I guess what I’ve realized is that it takes a lot of effort to be with someone or in a group. People have their well-established friendship circles and support networks, and it’s not easy to become part of it all. And I think I’m not as social and outgoing as I can be, as I was once. It’s like I’ve fallen out of practice. And so my ability to strike up conversation and engage with others is rusty.
But it’s okay. Im used to be attending things by myself.
It’s past 365 days, when I’d sent you that letter.
I thought that’s the start of getting over
but I guess that was a mistake I’d intentionally made.
Browsing my e-mail, waiting for your pop up message.
Like late January when we bumped into each other.
It’s past 365 days, before I realized what you had for me.
Was it true, were you sincere?
Were you thinkin’ about me,
With those poems you’d personally written?
Just like the love songs you dedicated for me?
It’s past 365 days, when you pop out my head.
I thought my feelings were gone
Still, I sing of songs of not getting over & second chances
Pictures of you are not deleted,
Your unsmiling face, I love, and that curly long hair.
Eventually, it’s past 365 days and not over you
If I have the chance to renew, If you ask me to
I’ll be back in the game and pay any cost
But in the end our differences got a lot at stake
I haven’t seen you for past 365 days
Sometimes i find myself wondering where you are now
Many what ifs and what could have beens
I’m still looking up, still looking up for another 365 days.
Thisknee Land 